Assalamualaikum and Hello…
We as normal human beings, interact with a lot of people in our daily lives, from your parents to your siblings, and from your teachers or any adult friends to your peers, all of them really shaped the way you think, the way you see the world from your built perspectives. The Major problem is.. We, for most people are very close to our parents and some maybe even closer to either their friends or even siblings. Like me, I’m very much close to my little brother, but then, you can’t really deny the fact that sometimes we tend to open up a little more when you face your peers (Especially the ones who’s very close). Friends have a very big value to all of us, But the biggest problem always faced by all of us, is when our ‘friend’ becomes so annoying, and totally different from ‘the one we used to know’
When making new friends,
The number #one rule you must obey is…
“….NEVER EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM A FRIEND…”
First of all, this rule applies to all of your friends… Especially the ones that you’ve just met at your new school, your college, Universities and anywhere else.. One of the biggest problems faced by people is when they put their hopes too high on people.
You met a new friend, and expect them to be as polite, as good, as nice as the first time when you meet them , well, that’s just HAVE TO C.H.A.N.G.E!!
Have you ever meet a new friend who was so INNOCENT, soo.. Nice and very much “likeable” when you first met them?? And have you ever experienced like’ “Why he/she is so different from the first time we met?”
Well, this is a wake up call;
“They are FAKING it!!” (well, most of them)
Some of you might say, “Ummm.. I think you are WRONG Daniel! All of my friends are like, super-nice… And I know they care about me so Muchhh~~!!”
There are exactly 2 possibilities….
1. Your friends really care about you…
We are not God. We do not know what people are thinking about us in the depths of their heart. However, you can test their “so-called loyalty and trust” in various ways. How?? Well, use the einstein-brain of yours and apply your friendship test. Please take note; by doing this, you can really put your relationship in big danger making a stronger bond or simply lose a friend.
2. They are “Just Friends”
“How am I going to test my friends??”
Easy. Follow these steps... #There’s also at the bottom of this post 😉
- If you have a problem, (considerably not too BIG or not too much of a hassle), call your “friend” for help.
- Join him/her/them in an outing or meeting with their friends. If they simply ignore you and act like they only know their friends for like 10 minutes or more without even looking at you, it’s a problem.
- Try to talk about your problems.
- Borrow their things (well, you have to return it back)
After applying “your friendship test” upon your selected friends, take note;
- How did they react to your test?
- What do you feel about their actions?
- Did they say anything?
- Try to react. Even keep quiet, more than usual is quite enough to pull the trigger in their heads.
- If they noticed, did they do anything??
After taking these steps, (you can include your personal step too..) The last thing is, DECIDE.
Are they GOOD, CARING FRIENDS??
Or are they SIMPLY FRIENDS??
And again, as I said before, Don’t put your hopes too high. It’s not like when the result isn’t like what you want, you automatically don’t want to befriend anymore. SOMETIMES (Actually most of the time), making a strong bond really takes time. Me and high school friends, (PGSTA 0812) took almost 3 years before all of us actually “feel connected” in an unexplainable way.
For those who met new people, don’t expect that they will be a GOOD, NICE, CARING FRIEND from your neighborhood. They will be, insya Allah, but trust me, IT TAKES TIME.
DON’T EXPECT TOO MUCH because the feeling of it, well I have to say, is like stabbing yourself…
HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND?? There are exactly 3 types of friends..
*Credited to HUDA TV
Those that are necessary like nourishment and you cannot live without them; those that are like medicine and are beneficial, so you need them sometimes; and finally, those that are like a sickness and you do not need them at all!
Prophet Muhammad (saw) has said, “The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness).” Like a mirror, your friend gives you an honest image. He forgives your mistakes, but does not hide or exaggerate your strengths and weaknesses.
Once Prophet Muhammad (saw) was asked, “What person can be the best friend?” “He who helps you remember Allah (SWT), and reminds you when you forget Him,” the Prophet Muhammad (saw), counseled.
Ali Ibn Abi Talib (as) said: “A friend cannot be considered a friend unless he is tested on three occasions: in time of need, behind your back and after your death.”
Indeed if we establish these as the standards of friendship, the believers shall soon find themselves enveloped with friends who will take them closer to Paradise and farther away from the fire of hell.
Allah (SWT) says in the Noble Qur’an: O you who believe! Take care of your souls; he who errs cannot hurt you when you are on the right way; to Allah is your return, of all (of you), so He will inform you of what you did. (Surah Al-Maeda, 5:105)
It’s your choice to make. All yours. 🙂 wassalam.