Assalamualaikum and Hello to my dear lovers.. I mean, readers –,-“
So, “ghettoly” speaking ; “How’s it hangin’ y’all ? “
Yes. This particular week has been extra, extra hard on me. Well, the results just came out. And yes.. My result suck balls. (I’m sorry for the vulgars) < that’s my inner thought speaking. And I’m truly sorry.
And now let’s get real.
The very first question must be this;
“What did you get?”
As simple as this question may be, this is the most annoying and somehow feels like-your-heart-been-stabbed-with-a-samurai question. No kidding.
Please remember that I am referring to those with poor and bad results and thinking that it’s THE END of this harsh and cruel world. If you ever feeling alone, brothers and sisters, trust me, you aren’t.
Welcome to the hood.
I understand how you guys feel. I really do. And I’m not even saying that just because I want you guys to feel better. It’s because I was feeling down these past days. Felt like I was and am a failure. A disappointment. A loser. An outcast. A NOBODY.
But, there’s this little voice inside me that has been whispering in the middle of my sad, pathetic conscience.
I know this might sound cliché and cheeky, but I really did. It gives me the chills just thinking about it.
Yes, the whisper is as simple as that.
When the results came out, and I found out my result suck balls :’( , I cried. And the tears… it’s not even flood we’re talking. It’s a Tsunami! A Tsunami of Tears..
Obviously, I exaggerated that part a little. =.=”
I felt like a failed in my studies.
Failed in my life.
Although the “failed in life” seems a bit peculiar and over the top, but that is somehow what it feels like.
And it’s even annoying when people post on…
Facebook “Yeahhh.. My results are blah, blah, blah..”
Tweet “Alaaaa.. my pointer is only 3.7 bla bla bla”
Or “Yes! Accepted to something-something…”
You know, happy things about their bright and promising future.
And this left us “The Loser Ones” being quiet.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate them. In fact, I’m happy for them. (Well, that’s what I have been trying to convince myself and I am still trying to.. )
And it really feels like crap!
While friends celebrating their upcoming interviews, their 4-flat experience, their soon-to-be scholarships, and their “Yes! I got accepted to blah, blah, blah…” moments… we, on the other hand are sitting in our rooms, thinking ;
“What the hell am I going to do with my life?”
So, NOW, What should we do?
Give up? Lose Hope?
After A LOT of self-reflection and meditation, I’ve come up with these.
First of all, Accept your circumstances. Be grateful for what you got and take a note for life; “LESSONS LEARNED”
A lot of people, maybe don’t realize this, but ACCEPTING is probably the hardest step. Like ever. Even harder than organic chemistry.
How can you ACCEPT FAILURE? You feel like while everyone is ahead of their games, laughing and eatingbon-bons, you are hit way back. And now, you are left ALONE there. Accept this failure in order to move on. In a relationship, to move on, you have to, inevitably, forget that bastard. I mean, person. You just have to.
Take 100% responsibility on your situations. Not blaming others, but yourself. Then, forgive yourself.
Have I accepted my circumstances? Have I forgiven myself for ‘jeopardizing my future’? Sometimes I think I have. But a lot of times, when I’m alone sitting or browsing the internet or while reading a book or even when I’m in the shower, it just hit me like “I screwed this opportunity. I’ll regret this forever…”
If I don’t accept my current situations, will I EVER be able to move forward?. No. Never.
Nelson Mandela said;“The Greatest Glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall”
Secondly is, now that you accept your ‘horrible fate’, it’s time to CHANGE all this.
Realize that you are capable of turning it all around. I don’t know why, but every time I read a relatable quotesnowadays feels like a sympathetic pat on the head. With a hammer.
“Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around.” Bear that in mind.
So the change we are about to take must be more bold this time. More systematic. Dig deep inside you and muster all the courage, strength and faith in yourself that you never know have dwelt inside you.
The CHANGE we are talking here must take steps. Remember, all of this requires your own willingness and effort. It will be a challenge. It will test you. It will test us. And expect them to be there. Don’t be such a crybaby when obstacles come. Expect them and eat them at breakfast.
- Dream Big.
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” –C.S. Lewis
Now, I’m going to make a pretty bold statement. Ready? Okay, here we go.
It’s okay not to be a Doctor. It’s okay if you grow up and not become an engineer. It’s okay if you are not in line to become a lawyer. It’s okay. The problem that we face in today’s society and most of our family’s expectations is this 3 most popular jobs, I suppose.
And if you dream of becoming something else, something you are very passionate about, then, go for it. You want to own a shop, you want to become an artist, you want to motivate other people, you want to be a rich businessman, you want to act, you want to teach people, go for it! Don’t hesitate because everybody else is insisting to get a “real job”!
Yuna Zarai have been in law school for 4 years. Did she turn up to be a lawyer? Or actually do anything with legal practice? No. She’s an artist now.
“It’s better that you work hard for something you love than doing something you’re not so passionate about” she said. –I heard it on the radio -,-
And then, you start to question yourself and you might want to question me; “How can I make money from that? How can you make a living doing something I love?”
- Realize, Believe and Have Faith
I know in the first point that it may sound “Easier said than done”. Hey, remember, I’m in the same phase as you are. I’m as scared as you are.
Now, realize that you can make out a living doing something you love. I have friends who are passionate in painting and drawing and she takes a diploma in arts. Negative, bullshit people will come forward and say with their negative, donkey’s mouth “What are you going to do with your life?”
Well, when she became the next Picasso, don’t be embarrassed to ask for her autograph.
Be confident of what you are capable of and what you can grasp. Don’t reject yourself before others got the chance to reject you.
Ellen Degeneres loves making other people laugh. And she makes out a living out of it.
Mariah Carey loves singing and she’s making millions doing what she truly loves.
James Cameron has passion in directing movies. He’s currently one of the most outstanding directors.
Ustaz Azhar Idrus is a religious Guru. He’s doing things he’s passionate about. And he’s very excellent at it.
J.K Rowling is a brilliant writer. Who would have not known what is Harry Potter, right?
See? In this society, not EVERYONE MUST BE A LAWYER, DOCTOR OR AN ENGINEER. All of the other professions, make up the society. If you really have something in your mind, GO FOR IT!
Me? I have never stopped dreaming about becoming a neurosurgeon since I was a little kid. But, growing up, I realize I have something that I love more. Writing. In my first year secondary school, I used to write stories (Ghost stories) in a book, and then I asked friends to read them and rate the childish, grammar-gone-wrong stories. At first it was a few of my friends, then it was spread to almost the whole batch. Even some of my seniors read my stories. It is awful though, when I look at them now, but back then, I really, really enjoyed it. I will not say that my parents don’t hope for me to be a doctor. Actually, almost all of my family members expect me to become a doctor. And they still do. But, now, I realize, I am passionate towards science, but I don’t want to make it a profession. I want to write. I have a passion for language. I dream of being a polyglot! (Multilingualism)
And telling your parents is not the easiest step either. But, you must tell them. Make them understand. Know your plans for the future. Then, tell them your plans. Every parent wants the best for their child. I bravely told my mom that I want to write. To my astonishment, she encourages me to go for it!
Any field you want to pursue, my mom always remind me of this.
Be a DIAMOND that shine among the rocks. “Shine bright like a diamond” Rihanna said. And yes I know, “DIAMOND don’t shine..” whatever. You get my point, right?
Every single person in your field is doing the same thing, but if you really want to be successful in your field, be the best of them. Every singer sings, but those who worked really hard to improve their music, their voice, their publicity will prevail in their carrier.
And when I be the next J.K. Rowling, yes, I don’t mind if you come up to me to ask for an autograph. Just ask! hehehe XD
- The 3-finger-step
First, GET A GOAL
So, What is your goal? If you want to be a doctor, then that’s your goal. Be clear of what you want and how you want them to happen. Make it Happen.
Second, GET A PLAN
So the plan is…
Isolate the problem, calculate a suitable encounter, and institute the work.
Whatever your plan is, make sure you think every possibility and every flaw.
Okay. Here’s a scenario.
Mike failed his foundation studies. So, he can either take the supplementary exams to at least pass his foundation studies or he can apply for a diploma. He dreamed about becoming a doctor. A surgeon. He can take the supplementary exams, but with his current pointer, he may not get a course in medical studies. He may also apply for the diploma, but he’s afraid that this way, he’ll still be in university when all his friends have graduated. What should he do?
I don’t know what step would Mike prefer, but if he really wanted to become a doctor, I’ll suggest that he takes that diploma. I’ll explain why.
I know some of us failed and need to take the supplementary exams. If you are up to it, then do it. And this time, give your very best. Now, let’s pass with flying crayons! I mean, colors -_-‘
If you want to apply for a diploma, then, why not? If you feel embarrassed, then don’t be. You are not alone. A lot of people even finish their degree in their late 30’s, 40’s, there’s even a grandma that finish her degree in her golden years. Being late is not something we should be ashamed of. It’s just that we are not being like everybody else, but hey, being like everyone else is boring. In the end, you’ll get a degree, just like everyone else did.
Don’t be afraid. Just go for it!
Thirdly, GET UP YOUR ASS!
Planning, but doing nothing yields.. Well, NOTHING. So, calculate your plans well and then, let’s get to work.
Remember, taking the first step of everything is always the hardest. Harder than organic chemistry, indeed.
- Have faith
There’s a comfort in prayer. The Creator knows what’s best. He put every single one of us to become His humble servant and He made us to become somebody. And it’s also your choice! Just keep your faith. Maybe this failure is a reminder to me and to you too. Maybe we went astray, forgetting Him. Or maybe He knows that this is what we need to make us work harder, to be better.
Pray that He Lead you to the right path. Or maybe because of that too much of playing Dota. Or too much of late night Korean Dramas (Guilty). Or maybe too much sleeping during lecture. Or maybe… the list goes on and on…
Surah 40. Al-Mu’min, Ayah 60
And your Lord says: “Call on Me; I will answer your (Prayer): But those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell in humiliation!”
Don’t pray that He will save you from all of the obstacles. Pray that you’ll be strong enough to face them, when they come to you.
Your circumstance may be A Blessing In Diguise.The more challenge you face, the stronger you become.
“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome.” –Booker T. Washington.
Finally, I’m not saying all of this because I have succeeded. I’m in the same shoes as all of you, remember? Well, the “Chosen Ones”, of course. But I am working step by step to it. Making small changes before I change big time. If you are afraid of your own future, then you are not alone. Every morning I wake up, I force myself to motivate myself, and pray to Allah that I have peace in my mind. Sometimes, (I mentioned already above) that I cried to think that I have no future. Sometimes, I wish that I would just wake up from this nightmare. I would cuddle to my mom just to whisper “I’m scared..” like a helpless, pathetic, ugly, disgusting, loathsome, petty, pitiful, little girl. -..-
Yes, I exaggerated on that part too. Obviously :p
Last but not least, (gosh, this is turning into an essay) I listened to this song over and over again. The lyrics just touched me in the heart. I suggest you have a listen as well.
“..I can make it through the rain,
I can stand up once again, on my own,
And I know that I’m strong enough to mend,
And EVERYTIME I feel afraid,
I HOLD TIGHTER TO MY FAITH,
And I live one more day,
And I’ll make it through the rain..”
Mariah Carey, “Through The Rain”
Good luck in life. And please pray for me as well. Ahhh… yes, I won’t forget my promise to give you my autograph later. When I’m the next J.K. Rowling XD
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Let me know you’re alive by leaving comments! 🙂
p/s: I’m not saying you should give up your dreams of becoming a doctor/lawyer/engineer =. =’