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Category Archives: All my life!

Hopes, Dreams, Triumphs, Failures, Grateful and Moving On

Hopes, Dreams, Triumphs, Failures, Grateful and Moving On

Assalamualaikum and Hello to my dear lovers.. I mean, readers –,-“

So, “ghettoly” speaking ; “How’s it hangin’ y’all ? “

Yes. This particular week has been extra, extra hard on me. Well, the results just came out. And yes.. My result suck balls. (I’m sorry for the vulgars) < that’s my inner thought speaking. And I’m truly sorry.

And now let’s get  real.

The very first question must be this;

“What did you get?”

As simple as this question may be, this is the most annoying and somehow feels like-your-heart-been-stabbed-with-a-samurai question. No kidding.

Please remember that I am referring to those with poor and bad results and thinking that it’s THE END of this harsh and cruel world. If you ever feeling alone, brothers and sisters, trust me, you aren’t.

Welcome to the hood.

I understand how you guys feel. I really do. And I’m not even saying that just because I want you guys to feel better. It’s because I was feeling down these past days. Felt like I was and am a failure. A disappointment. A loser. An outcast. A NOBODY.

But, there’s this little voice inside me that has been whispering in the middle of my sad, pathetic conscience.

I know this might sound cliché and cheeky, but I really did. It gives me the chills just thinking about it.

“Pray…”

Yes, the whisper is as simple as that.

When the results came out, and I found out my result suck balls :, I cried. And the tears… it’s not even flood we’re talking. It’s a Tsunami! A Tsunami of Tears..

Obviously, I exaggerated that part a little. =.=”

I felt like a failed in my studies.

Failed in my life.

Although the “failed in life” seems a bit peculiar and over the top, but that is somehow what it feels like.

And it’s even annoying when people post on…

Facebook “Yeahhh.. My results are blah, blah, blah..”

Tweet “Alaaaa.. my pointer is only 3.7 bla bla bla”

Or “Yes! Accepted to something-something…”

You know, happy things about their bright and promising future.

And this left us “The Loser Ones” being quiet.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate them. In fact, I’m happy for them. (Well, that’s what I have been trying to convince myself and I am still trying to.. )

And it really feels like crap!

While friends celebrating their upcoming interviews, their 4-flat experience, their soon-to-be scholarships, and their “Yes! I got accepted to blah, blah, blah…” moments… we, on the other hand are sitting in our rooms, thinking ;

“What the hell am I going to do with my life?”

So, NOW, What should we do?

Give up? Lose Hope?

After A LOT of self-reflection and meditation, I’ve come up with these.

First of all, Accept your circumstances. Be grateful for what you got and take a note for life; “LESSONS LEARNED”

moving-on-quotes-sayings

A lot of people, maybe don’t realize this, but ACCEPTING is probably the hardest step. Like ever. Even harder than organic chemistry.

How can you ACCEPT FAILURE? You feel like while everyone is ahead of their games, laughing and eatingbon-bons, you are hit way back. And now, you are left ALONE there. Accept this failure in order to move on. In a relationship, to move on, you have to, inevitably, forget that bastard. I mean, person. You just have to.

Take 100% responsibility on your situations. Not blaming others, but yourself. Then, forgive yourself.

Have I accepted my circumstances? Have I forgiven myself for ‘jeopardizing my future’? Sometimes I think I have. But a lot of times, when I’m alone sitting or browsing the internet or while reading a book or even when I’m in the shower, it just hit me like “I screwed this opportunity. I’ll regret this forever…”

If I don’t accept my current situations, will I EVER be able to move forward?. No. Never.

Nelson Mandela said;

“The Greatest Glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall”
 

Secondly is, now that you accept your ‘horrible fate’, it’s time to CHANGE all this.

Realize that you are capable of turning it all around. I don’t know why, but every time I read a relatable quotesnowadays feels like a sympathetic pat on the head. With a hammer.

hammered

“Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around.” Bear that in mind.

So the change we are about to take must be more bold this time. More systematic. Dig deep inside you and muster all the courage, strength and faith in yourself that you never know have dwelt inside you.

Thomas Edison

The CHANGE we are talking here must take steps. Remember, all of this requires your own willingness and effort. It will be a challenge. It will test you. It will test us. And expect them to be there. Don’t be such a crybaby when obstacles come. Expect them and eat them at breakfast.

  1. Dream Big.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”                   –C.S. Lewis

Now, I’m going to make a pretty bold statement. Ready? Okay, here we go.

It’s okay not to be a Doctor. It’s okay if you grow up and not become an engineer. It’s okay if you are not in line to become a lawyer. It’s okay. The problem that we face in today’s society and most of our family’s expectations is this 3 most popular jobs, I suppose.

And if you dream of becoming something else, something you are very passionate about, then, go for it. You want to own a shop, you want to become an artist, you want to motivate other people, you want to be a rich businessman, you want to act, you want to teach people, go for it! Don’t hesitate because everybody else is insisting to get a “real job”!

Yuna Zarai have been in law school for 4 years. Did she turn up to be a lawyer? Or actually do anything with legal practice? No. She’s an artist now.

“It’s better that you work hard for something you love than doing something you’re not so passionate about” she said. –I heard it on the radio -,-

And then, you start to question yourself and you might want to question me; “How can I make money from that? How can you make a living doing something I love?”

Right?

  1. Realize, Believe and Have Faith

I know in the first point that it may sound “Easier said than done”. Hey, remember, I’m in the same phase as you are. I’m as scared as you are.

Now, realize that you can make out a living doing something you love. I have friends who are passionate in painting and drawing and she takes a diploma in arts. Negative, bullshit people will come forward and say with their negative, donkey’s mouth “What are you going to do with your life?”

Well, when she became the next Picasso, don’t be embarrassed to ask for her autograph.

Be confident of what you are capable of and what you can grasp. Don’t reject yourself before others got the chance to reject you.

Ellen Degeneres loves making other people laugh. And she makes out a living out of it.

Mariah Carey loves singing and she’s making millions doing what she truly loves.

James Cameron has passion in directing movies. He’s currently one of the most outstanding directors.

Ustaz Azhar Idrus is a religious Guru. He’s doing things he’s passionate about. And he’s very excellent at it.

J.K Rowling is a brilliant writer. Who would have not known what is Harry Potter, right?

See? In this society, not EVERYONE MUST BE A LAWYER, DOCTOR OR AN ENGINEER. All of the other professions, make up the society. If you really have something in your mind, GO FOR IT!

Me? I have never stopped dreaming about becoming a neurosurgeon since I was a little kid. But, growing up, I realize I have something that I love more. Writing. In my first year secondary school, I used to write stories (Ghost stories) in a book, and then I asked friends to read them and rate the childish, grammar-gone-wrong stories. At first it was a few of my friends, then it was spread to almost the whole batch. Even some of my seniors read my stories. It is awful though, when I look at them now, but back then, I really, really enjoyed it. I will not say that my parents don’t hope for me to be a doctor. Actually, almost all of my family members expect me to become a doctor. And they still do. But, now, I realize, I am passionate towards science, but I don’t want to make it a profession. I want to write. I have a passion for language. I dream of being a polyglot! (Multilingualism)

And telling your parents is not the easiest step either. But, you must tell them. Make them understand. Know your plans for the future. Then, tell them your plans. Every parent wants the best for their child. I bravely told my mom that I want to write. To my astonishment, she encourages me to go for it!

Any field you want to pursue, my mom always remind me of this.

Be a DIAMOND that shine among the rocks. “Shine bright like a diamond” Rihanna said. And yes I know, “DIAMOND don’t shine..” whatever. You get my point, right?

Every single person in your field is doing the same thing, but if you really want to be successful in your field, be the best of them. Every singer sings, but those who worked really hard to improve their music, their voice, their publicity will prevail in their carrier.

And when I be the next J.K. Rowling, yes, I don’t mind if you come up to me to ask for an autograph. Just ask! hehehe XD

  1. The 3-finger-step

First, GET A GOAL

So, What is your goal? If you want to be a doctor, then that’s your goal. Be clear of what you want and how you want them to happen. Make it Happen.

Second, GET A PLAN

So the plan is…

Isolate the problem, calculate a suitable encounter, and institute the work.

Whatever your plan is, make sure you think every possibility and every flaw.

Okay. Here’s a scenario.

Mike failed his foundation studies. So, he can either take the supplementary exams to at least pass his foundation studies or he can apply for a diploma. He dreamed about becoming a doctor. A surgeon. He can take the supplementary exams, but with his current pointer, he may not get a course in medical studies. He may also apply for the diploma, but he’s afraid that this way, he’ll still be in university when all his friends have graduated. What should he do?

I don’t know what step would Mike prefer, but if he really wanted to become a doctor, I’ll suggest that he takes that diploma. I’ll explain why.

I know some of us failed and need to take the supplementary exams. If you are up to it, then do it. And this time, give your very best. Now, let’s pass with flying crayons! I mean, colors -_-‘

If you want to apply for a diploma, then, why not? If you feel embarrassed, then don’t be. You are not alone. A lot of people even finish their degree in their late 30’s, 40’s, there’s even a grandma that finish her degree in her golden years. Being late is not something we should be ashamed of. It’s just that we are not being like everybody else, but hey, being like everyone else is boring. In the end, you’ll get a degree, just like everyone else did.

Don’t be afraid. Just go for it!

Thirdly, GET UP YOUR ASS!

Planning, but doing nothing yields.. Well, NOTHING. So, calculate your plans well and then, let’s get to work.

Remember, taking the first step of everything is always the hardest. Harder than organic chemistry, indeed.

  1. Have faith

There’s a comfort in prayer. The Creator knows what’s best. He put every single one of us to become His humble servant and He made us to become somebody. And it’s also your choice! Just keep your faith. Maybe this failure is a reminder to me and to you too. Maybe we went astray, forgetting Him. Or maybe He knows that this is what we need to make us work harder, to be better.

Pray that He Lead you to the right path. Or maybe because of that too much of playing Dota. Or too much of late night Korean Dramas (Guilty). Or maybe too much sleeping during lecture. Or maybe… the list goes on and on…

وَقَالَرَبُّكُمُادْعُونِيأَسْتَجِبْلَكُمْۚإِنَّالَّذِينَيَسْتَكْبِرُونَعَنْعِبَادَتِيسَيَدْخُلُونَجَهَنَّمَدَاخِرِينَ

Surah 40. Al-Mu’min, Ayah 60

And your Lord says: “Call on Me; I will answer your (Prayer): But those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell in humiliation!”

 

Don’t pray that He will save you from all of the obstacles. Pray that you’ll be strong enough to face them, when they come to you.

Your circumstance may be A Blessing In Diguise.

The more challenge you face, the stronger you become.

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome.” –Booker T. Washington.

z152Shield Bug 325 09-14-11 with LR Edits with quote with lots of textures low res

inspirational-quote-failure-thomas-edison-2

 

 

Finally, I’m not saying all of this because I have succeeded. I’m in the same shoes as all of you, remember? Well, the “Chosen Ones”, of course. But I am working step by step to it. Making small changes before I change big time. If you are afraid of your own future, then you are not alone. Every morning I wake up, I force myself to motivate myself, and pray to Allah that I have peace in my mind. Sometimes, (I mentioned already above) that I cried to think that I have no future. Sometimes, I wish that I would just wake up from this nightmare. I would cuddle to my mom just to whisper “I’m scared..” like a  helpless, pathetic, ugly, disgusting, loathsome, petty, pitiful, little girl. -..-

Yes, I exaggerated on that part too. Obviously :p

Last but not least, (gosh, this is turning into an essay) I listened to this song over and over again. The lyrics just touched me in the heart. I suggest you have a listen as well.

“..I can make it through the rain,

I can stand up once again, on my own,

And I know that I’m strong enough to mend,

And EVERYTIME I feel afraid,

I HOLD TIGHTER TO MY FAITH,

And I live one more day,

And I’ll make it through the rain..”

Mariah Carey, “Through The Rain”

hopequotes

Good luck in life. And please pray for me as well. Ahhh… yes, I won’t forget my promise to give you my autograph later. When I’m the next J.K. Rowling XD

 

 Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Let me know you’re alive by leaving comments! 🙂

p/s: I’m not saying you should give up your dreams of becoming a doctor/lawyer/engineer =. =’

 
8 Comments

Posted by on May 16, 2014 in #Tips, All my life!, HaRsH ReALitY!

 

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My Fatherless Life

My Fatherless Life

Hello to All Fellow readers! How did you survived without me? It must be hard.

I know. I’ve been not writing whatsoever for A Very Long Time. Let me get this straight.

A very, very long time. Well, I was busy with… to be frank, nothing. I was just lazy as a donkey.

 

Me, those past weeks

you can bet I looked like that this past weeks.

 

  It's the frickin' internet which I don't have for quite 
                          some time.

 

I’ve been meaning to write about this part of my life. And if you were wondering, yes, I have been living my life ‘Fatherless’.

Technically my father is still alive though, my parents were divorced since I was 5.

 

To be truthful, I never actually have fun memories of my father, being actually there growing up. We met often, (not so often actually) of course, after blistering of mad and angry phone calls by mother. And by then, I thought, it’s basically normal. Not such a big deal to see adults fight.

 

I remembered when I was in kindergarden or Primary 1 when it was time to fill out documents (I don’t really sure what they were because I don’t give a damn about it by the time) and one of my teachers asked me about my dad.

 

“You live with your mom and dad?” They asked.

 

“No. I live mother only. My dad live somewhere else” I said bluntly.

 

“So they are divorced?” -_- and I was like ‘What the hell is “divorced”? ‘ by that time.

 

And the moment I went back home, I asked my mommy. And she said “Yes. Divorced, honey.”

 

Since I was this innocent and bashful little child to even ask, I just go with it. Just live with the fact my parents are divorced. I swear, I thought being divorced is fun. You get to live on your own, and enjoy life with your kids.

And I never would have dreamed to have a dad/ by that time, “daddy” was just a man I know had married my mother a very long time ago.

 

My mom seemed to enjoy being divorced. (she wasn’t actually) So do I and my brother. (we were and still are :p )

 

When I was older, (Before I went to high school) I always wish my mom would somehow remarry my dad. I don’t wish for he same thing to happen today though. Not in a million years.

I know what my dad were like when I was little.

He’s not actually a bad man, really. He does not hit my mom. Because if he did, he’d literally be killed by mom and will be feeded to the dogs. Seriously. But he’s not around while I was growing up. When Elvin was growing up. And that’s his lost. Not us.
 

Honestly, there’s a lot of things in this family that I found out by my own. And I know why my mom doesn’t really talks about it.

 

My mom doesn’t want me to be like in those movies where the mother finally says “You’re adopted” or “You are actually not a human” ( I made that one up, obviously) and the child went off crazy, crying like hell and then turn into a gorilla. (I made that one up too)  And because my mind were matured really quick at a very young age, I asked questions to know what or how their marriage fall apart and finally, I gathered all the pieces together. Like a jigsaw puzzle.

 

And I enjoyed doing that.

 

If I ever asked WHY they ever decided to file for a divorce, my mommy will always say “We were not meant to be together for a long time”

 

after long lines of curses and swears to my dad, 
of course. -,-

 

So? How does living FATHERLESS affected my life?

 

An obvious affects on me that I always notice is that it scares the hell out of me to meet someone’s dad. It’s always awkward to talk to male adults. My mom have a lot of friends, and maybe 70% of them are female. And that’s why I get along with girls so much. Because I was raised by my mom and aunts.

 

I learnt to talk with girls and to actually think like one. Well, I’ve always got the girls’ perspective.

And I would not say I’m girly, I would say I’m more touched to my feminine side. Or so everyone told me. -_-

 

SOMETIMES I feel like my life were inadequate. Like there’s a hole in my heart that’s never filled. Maybe it’s “father’s” love or whatever bullshit I think it is, but truly, something is missing. I’m giving  credit  to my mother 99% of my life, though, because she’s always been there in my life.

 

When I needed her. When I need someone to talk to.

 

And I know she have been trying so hard, working like dog, just to make sure My brother and I have the best things in life.

 

The best clothes. The best shoes. The best gadjets. The best food. The best lives.

 

And because of that I’m very grateful to be blessed with such mother. A strong, independent, will kick-you-in-the-ass-if-you-mess-with-her-or-her-kids woman.

 

Even so, she could not provide things like man-talk or you know, things we talk with our dad. But I think if my dad is around, I wouldn’t talk about manly stuff either. -_- so, it’s a no-one-benefit situation.

 

Once, I literally forced myself o cry because I don’t have a father. Because I thought my father never loved me. I know.. I mentioned above that I don’t care. And I did. But when I was 16 and was waiting for my mom to pick Elvin and I from hostel, I noticed a lot of my friends have their dad and mother picking them up.

 

By then, I thought “What it’s like to have a dad?”

 

and then I tried to create a melodramatic moment in my big head. Trying to imagine that I was a kid that never had a dad. (well, technically I am) and yes, I did cried. And then I thought, hey, I’ve been living 16 years without dad (technically), why the hell am I crying now? This is so not right!

 

And since that, I was determined that I will never want to see my dad. For the first time in my life, I actually tell myself to hate my dad. And I did. I hated him. I know I sound like a pissed off son and yes. I was. I actually prevailed in not meeting him for a year!

 

Well, he rarely called, that’s for starters.

But when he did called or show up at the school to meet me. I made up excuses. I prevailed 2 times actually. The third one can’t be helped because my dad were literally begged to see me. Well, he didn’t “begged” but you know.. let’s spice up the story a little.

 

The first attempt was not a big challenge. I was in my room and I did not know that he was waiting. =.= (Even if I did know, I’m sure I would not come anyway)

 

The second attempt is even easy. I was not there. And that was it. Easy.

 

Well the third time, he actually saw me. And asked one of my friend to call me. I rejected, of course, I told my friend to tell him I am absent. Not there. I was adamant not to see him. Not in a million years, I would probably swear.

 

But then I did. I need his blessings in life after all. After my friends persuaded me and after a long war inside myself and conscience, of course.

 And I’m glad I did. Thank you Allah.

 

Maybe the biggest affect I guess is how I view on love life and ‘True Love’ dog-ass bullshit. I never lived with a dad, and I don’t know how one supposed to be a father. How will he “lead the family” and all of that fatherly crap. I never lived long enough with a married couple with kids. My grandparents, even though I lived with them, will always be an exception because they were always there while I’m growing up.

 

What my point really saying is.. that I‘m afraid IF I may end up divorced like my parents did. Frankly, living with one parent is FUN. I would never dream living my childhood any other way. Even though I know it’s hard on my mom, but living fatherless have also made its toll on my brother and I. We bonded so strong, as if we were twins.

 

But now, I wish there is a man in my mother’s life. Someone who can take care of her, love her and complement her life. I’m afraid if I’m not around, if Elvin is not around, that she may need someone there to talk to, to have a shoulder to cry on, to have someone to hug and comfort her. And I wish my mom would marry someone.

 

Then, why is she still not married until this day?

 

Because she thought of us. My brother and I.

 

“If I’m going to marry a guys, he is going to marry all of us..”

 

“I can find and change man anytime I want, but I can’t replace both of you”

 

“I’m always scared that both of you would wake up one day and feel empty, living without your dad”

 

“Whoever and how bad he is, He is still your dad. Love and respect him.”

-My Mother-

 

and I guess, because of that she’s still not married until this day. Or the Right Man is not here yet.

 

One thing I have to be clear is that. I don’t hate my father. At least not anymore. I just pity him though. He missed the one of best years of his life. My childhood. Elvin’s childhood. And I don’t know if I ever will love him to the extend of a “deeper connection”.

Maybe not. Ever. I’m 19 now. 19 years of my-father-was-not-there time. And yes, I’m still a bit pissed off, and I don’t care about it anymore.

As I said, it’s his lost.

 

And I still, deep in my heart, love him.

AND I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT WHO HAVE WORSE ISSUE WITH THEIR PARENTS, AND I’M NOT SAYING MINE IS THE WORST. THERE ARE MORE SHITTY PARENTS OUT THERE. I’M GLAD MINE NOT SO MUCH.

I’VE LEARNED TO ACCEPT OUR PARENTS JUST THE WAY THEY ARE 🙂

(unless they are really, really a donkey-ass)

Thank you Allah for this 4 blessings in my life :

  1. Ismuna Binti Mustapa (World’s Best Mother)
  2. Elvin Adham (World’s Best Brother)
  3. Daniel Azwan (Your Awesome Servant) 🙂
  4. Priceless (My iPhone) XD

 

yours truly, 

Daniel Azwan

 

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Me and PMS

Me and PMS

Assalamualaikum and hey yo fellow readers! (and my special love to all of my Followers!)

yeah. I know. Where have I been missing these days? I mean, for almost 4 months I guess?

procrastinate

Well, I’m one of The Most Busiest Person Alive. Trust me. Check it on the Guiness’ Book of Records. I’m dubbed as one. I’m busy with Studying, Sleeping, Playing Games, Chatting, Facebooking, Stalking other People’s Twitter and Facebook, Sleeping (Yes, I do that A lot nowadays), stressing out.. well, just like my normal life lahh.

Yes! One more thing, do you know that Guys have PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) just like females as well? You know, it’s the time of the month where the girls actually become The Incredible Hulk or Crybabies?

300_2740578

Girls during PMS

 

Hulk2-1

Yeah, I’ve been  experiencing that A lot lately. Like seriously, A LOT.

I can be like…

“Hey! Let’s go for a walk!” *Very cheerful* (*^_^*)

“I’m sad! and I don’t frickin‘ know WHY!!!! 😥 ” *The VERY NEXT MINUTE

and after months of experiencing this, with all the stressful status on Facebook, the Vulgar tweets.. I finally come to a conclusion!

Guys have PMS after all. -_- 

btxvn35

and it's not the most fun thing to deal with either.

So, A LOT of things have been running in my head nowadays.

Like:

What I should be in the future?

What kind of Life I want?

Should I take Law or Linguistics or Science?

Why is he so frickin’ ANNOYING? *Yes, you know I’m talking to you..

bear

Why is “That Person” so freaking Cute?? :3

 

How can I increase my cuteness? :3

I sometimes feel wanna cry when I hear a sad song 😥

Why is chemistry and physics like hannjjinngg?? *sorry for the vulgars, people

I feel I’m CRAZY nowadays.

Yeah. I’m PMSING

yeah.. A LOT. Well, it’s what most people think, I guess. 

prepare to meet satan

I know I mentioned that I want to be neurosurgeon before.. But, deep inside my heart told me that it’s not my calling. Not “My Thing” you could say.

So I guess, now I’m searching!

Law- because I don’t practically love THE LAW but I like debates, I like thinking analytically, logically and well, it’s The Law, what more                 can I say?

Linguistics- I have always loved learning Language and I notice that I can catch up very quickly when it comes to learning a                                            Language. Well, not like THAT QUICK but you know. It’s more natural than I have to bash my brain learning science and                              Math.

Science-      I loved science and I love learning them, but… you know.. I’m at the edge of it. I want to take it.. BUT…

So that’s probably my biggest, fattest, most fearful DILEMMA these days. I’m afraid that I would end up with a course that I’m not so passionate about, It’s not that I’m being PICKY but it’s MY LIFE. MY FUTURE. I WANT TO END UP DOING SOMETHING THAT I ENJOY. And not something that I can’t give all MY HEARTS INTO IT. Rightttt???

Anyway, it’s been centuries since I last updated. So, I’m sorry to keep all of you waiting.. *I know.. Nobody even notice I was gone =_=”

I’ll make sure that I update more this time !

procrastination

 

 
 

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Why The Eff I like Vulgar words now??

Why The Eff I like Vulgar words now??

Hell-o you Awesome yet Exclusive Vulgar Blog readers!!

Yes, as the title claims.. Currently I use a lot of curse words.. EVERYTHING that’s vulgar!

Yeah, that’s not the greatest Good news, it’s actually very very bad news. A shockingly fucked up twist in my life. Oops.. there’s the first one. *Sorry

Yeah… so I think I’ve always wanted to say the effinf words, but , you know the people that surround me..

Just say one curse word, probably you’ll be the center of attention as if you own a Unicorn -_- * I wish I have one, though

swearing

Well.. the first damn reason is maybe because I’m too stressed out by my best friend called life!

Yep. This effing damn life. Everything right now seemed like not right. My relationships, grades, phone, EVERY effing thing!

I know I sound like an effing brat who’s mad about his imperfect life, but still, I’m too stressed out.

“My grades stink more than skunks. How can I be a doctor?” Fuck that. I don’t wanna be a doctor. Not now.

I also think that maybe it’s because I watched too many stand-up comedies. Don’t get me wrong, I love Stand-ups. But probably because their choice of words which I can say, not so conservative. But it’s funny. I guess that’s the point. I think it’s funny and I used them to say funny things. for instance…

“Whatever Biatch..”

“What an Effing gayboy!!”

^^ If said in the perfect situation and combined with my obnoxious eye contact, it would be seriously funny.

And probably I was and still searching what I want to do with my life, figuring out who I am and just want to decide who the Eff I wanna be when I grow up.

This obnoxious and unforgivable behavior are certainly can’t be excused, but when something triggers it, like when a bitchy guy bitching to me and try to make a fight or shitting about his shitty life, well, get ready to succumb with my bazooka of vulgar words.

My friends *I think* thought that I’m this innocent and the kind of guy who don’t speak with such language. Well, tadaaa guys! I do.

Shocked right?? Me too…

I don’t actually used to it. As a matter of fact. I kind of getting rid of it now. It doesn’t fit with my personality which is kind of bubbly and cute.. hahaha

Well.. in my next post I’ll let you know how deep the pits in my heart. I know no one will be waiting,.. but it’s fun to just write the damn statement.

What do you guys think of Vulgar words?? Lemme know!!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 28, 2013 in All my life!, Personally saying..

 

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How I spend my semester break :3

How I spend my semester break :3

 

 

Assalamualaikum and hello human

 

I don’t really remember since when my semester break started, but for almost 2 months of enjoying the holiday, well, I’ve been really .. Nothing -_-

 

I ate a lot.. seriously a lot like hell. Well, because of that, now my body is the size of an average panda bear. Speaking of panda bears, my eyes (especially the lower part) also filled with dark circles because of the unconditioned and inconsistent sleeping schedule.. the black circles have made me look like a human-panda hybrid.

 

 

 

Panda Gao Gao in San Diego Zoo, USA

Now I look like this. Fat and sleepy. But still, I am cute 🙂

 

I watched youtube a lot -_- My new drug now : Stand-up comedy!

 

Talking about comedians like Russel Peters, Louis CK, Melissa Villasenor, Jack Carrol just to name a few.

 

There tonnes of funny people in the Youtube. Search for them. Funny as hell!

 

 

 

 

 

Also, I’ve been watching Naruto Shippuden, Avatar : The Legend Of Korra, and yeah, I’ve spent most of my time watching movies, cartoons, sleeping, eating, laughing. My life is almost a wreck!

 

The cover of the first DVD compilation release...

 

Now I’m feeling fat as Winnie the Pooh, Sleepy like the Sleeping Beauty and ugly like the Ugly step sisters.

 

Yeah… Life is perfect :3

 

 

 

 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on November 19, 2013 in All my life!

 

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Memoir of a very Special Friend

Memoir of a very Special Friend

Assalamualaikum and Hye awesome-blog readers…

Yes, I said it. My blog is Awesome To those who’s new in this awesome blog, welcome and to those who enjoyed the awesomeness a lot of times before, well good for you.

Siti Suraya Sani

Siti Suraya Sani

I have a very very special friend. A girl friend. Whoops! Hold your dirty thoughts everybody, I said I have a special friend. And yes, she’s a girl. We’re not some lovers. Yet. Hahaha, yeah, I know you’re either smiling and laughing like Shrek or you might get disgusted by this Siti Suraya Sani…                                                           But yes. She is a good, old friend of mine and  we have been friends for five years!

P.S : Since my English suck like hell, I don’t really know what the title claims. It sounded like I’m writing for a dead person.  -_-

How we met? Simple. I asked her what is the word “Jasa” in English. Jasa is “Good deeds” in Malay. This part you maybe not know Sur, but I asked you the word is because of an anime I love. It’s Jigoku Shoujo (Hell Girl)

Hell Girl

Hell Girl (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

To anime-lovers, do you remember the part where Enma (The Hell Girl) will take revenge for the people who requested for it and she always says that one line before she bring the person to hell?

Yeah, I don’t know how, but I somehow think there is “Good deed” word in her line (where there actually isn’t.)  but that is how we met. I asked her the word, she somehow gracefully look up the word in a dictionary which made me feel like an idiot because “ why in the world I didn’t look it up in the first place?” Oh wait, I did. I just wasn’t fully satisfied with it.

Since then we’re friends. And it is more “strengthened” when I joined the debate team.

I remembered the time when I was very down or when she was very down, the whole team just really back us up. Funny story is that, I have literally taken her place during my first year as a debater. -_-

Left : Suraya Right : Nadiah

Left : Suraya Right : Nadiah


   She’s way experienced than I am and 
 yet I’ve taken her place. The words that
         I always say since then 
        is “Sur, kau ndak marah ka?”

I also remember the time when we argue (in debate) like crazy. It finally stopped when both of us realize how intense the situation is. And I will always be the guys who make everyone laugh and she will always be the “Big Sister” in the team since I’m the childish one . :3

*This one here is in malay because I think it’s very special*

So, aku sangat dan teramat respect la kawan aq sorang nie, sebab dia jugak sangat kuat untuk mengambil tanggungjawab sebagai pemidato sekolah. Yes, bukan senang tu. Bahas ok lah.. ada kawan2. Sorang2 nie, kita rasa alone and trpaksa menjadi kuat sendiri.

Beberapa hari lepas kitorang ada jumpa lagi ngan semua geng bahas yang lain(kecuali Hanif -_-).

Wah rindu gilakk!!

Satu ayat aq akan sentiasa ingat dia cakap ;

“ndak sangka nie kita. 5 tahun masih jugak bersama…”

Nadiah, Suraya, me

Nadiah, Suraya, me

Mohd Youssry Ruslan

Mohd Youssry Ruslan

 

















Thank you for being my friend and thank you 
for all of the memories. 
Thank you for being cool and 
understanding with all I’ve been through.

Sekarang semua dah besar, semua dah matang *_* walaupun kematangan aq masih dikalahkan oleh budak umur 5 tahun, ya, but still, at least ada la improvement diri aku niehhh..

Maybe suatu hari nanti lagi jumpa, time tu Sur kau ada anak 10 orang suda, aku masih lagi awet muda kan.. hahaha time tu aq temberang la sikit sama kau sementara aku tunggu gadis istimewa di “rest n go” hahaha

Woi Siti Suraya Sani!! Aku tau kau suka ni post kannn.. aku tulis bahasa melayu suda ni bussss ahhaa

Cikgu kami jugakla mantap.. hahha

Cikgu kami jugakla mantap.. hahha

Madzuan, Me, Nian, Nadiah Suraya

Madzuan, Me, Nian, Nadiah Suraya

Yes.. as you can see.. I'm the awesome-est..

Yes.. as you can see.. I’m the awesome-est..

Famili Bahas yang paling hebat!

Famili Bahas yang paling hebat!

Time di rumah orang kaya boss

Time di rumah orang kaya boss

   #PGSTA0812 #team #SMKAKKEXCLUSIVE360 #FAMILIBAHAS #BUKHARIANS #PROPACOUNCIL

She wrote how Awesome I am too..Daniel Azwan is Awesomest <<check out her blog!

 
4 Comments

Posted by on November 18, 2013 in All my life!, High-School Drama

 

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The Ultimatum of PGSTA 0812 – Memoirs of The Never-forgotten Memories.

The Ultimatum of PGSTA 0812 – Memoirs of The Never-forgotten Memories.

Huh!!!!! That’s a BIG RELIEVE!

I promised to make the last video of my batch, PGSTA 0812 after our BIG SPM ends….

But, I had to go to PLKN (national service).. therefore, this video was “postponed” until 3 months after that.

Then, after I finished my Programme, it’s time for our results!

My head was spinning… I was caught in a big promise I’m willing to keep and the pressure of the result.

IT WASN'T REALLY THAT IMPORTANT TO SOME OF YOU, BUT, IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME.

I WANTED TO KEEP THIS MOMENT. AT LEAST THIS VIDEO CAN HELP ME TO RELIVE THE MOMENTS I MISSED SO MUCH

Some of my friends kept asking; “Den!! Where’s the video? Is it ready yet..?”

But I kept on saying ; “In progress…”

It’s true. I wanted to make a video that not only me enjoys to watch, I want all PGSTA 0812 members as well as other peoples that watch the video as well. I’ve uploaded a part of the video, PART 1: The End of a Journey, because I want them to see, one of the part of my unfinished work. At least they know, that I’ve been working really hard on the video.

The video consist of :-

Part 1 : The End of A Journey

Part 2 : The Battle Has begun

Part 3 : The Unforgettable Memories

Part 4 : Members Of PGSTA 0812

Part 5 : Extras

Part 6 : The Final Byes

yeah, it’s a lot..

One of my greatest and DARKEST fear was that they might not like any of it..

well, if so.. I AM SORRY 🙂

p/s : Good luck in your life afterwards guys! I love you all, and I can’t tell you how much blessed I felt to met all of you. Thank you for being my friend, it’s pleasure being yours 🙂

Truly, Mohd Daniel Azwan 
May Allah Bless all our ways 🙂
 

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