Category Archives: Personally saying..

My Fatherless Life

My Fatherless Life

Hello to All Fellow readers! How did you survived without me? It must be hard.

I know. I’ve been not writing whatsoever for A Very Long Time. Let me get this straight.

A very, very long time. Well, I was busy with… to be frank, nothing. I was just lazy as a donkey.


Me, those past weeks

you can bet I looked like that this past weeks.


  It's the frickin' internet which I don't have for quite 
                          some time.


I’ve been meaning to write about this part of my life. And if you were wondering, yes, I have been living my life ‘Fatherless’.

Technically my father is still alive though, my parents were divorced since I was 5.


To be truthful, I never actually have fun memories of my father, being actually there growing up. We met often, (not so often actually) of course, after blistering of mad and angry phone calls by mother. And by then, I thought, it’s basically normal. Not such a big deal to see adults fight.


I remembered when I was in kindergarden or Primary 1 when it was time to fill out documents (I don’t really sure what they were because I don’t give a damn about it by the time) and one of my teachers asked me about my dad.


“You live with your mom and dad?” They asked.


“No. I live mother only. My dad live somewhere else” I said bluntly.


“So they are divorced?” -_- and I was like ‘What the hell is “divorced”? ‘ by that time.


And the moment I went back home, I asked my mommy. And she said “Yes. Divorced, honey.”


Since I was this innocent and bashful little child to even ask, I just go with it. Just live with the fact my parents are divorced. I swear, I thought being divorced is fun. You get to live on your own, and enjoy life with your kids.

And I never would have dreamed to have a dad/ by that time, “daddy” was just a man I know had married my mother a very long time ago.


My mom seemed to enjoy being divorced. (she wasn’t actually) So do I and my brother. (we were and still are :p )


When I was older, (Before I went to high school) I always wish my mom would somehow remarry my dad. I don’t wish for he same thing to happen today though. Not in a million years.

I know what my dad were like when I was little.

He’s not actually a bad man, really. He does not hit my mom. Because if he did, he’d literally be killed by mom and will be feeded to the dogs. Seriously. But he’s not around while I was growing up. When Elvin was growing up. And that’s his lost. Not us.

Honestly, there’s a lot of things in this family that I found out by my own. And I know why my mom doesn’t really talks about it.


My mom doesn’t want me to be like in those movies where the mother finally says “You’re adopted” or “You are actually not a human” ( I made that one up, obviously) and the child went off crazy, crying like hell and then turn into a gorilla. (I made that one up too)  And because my mind were matured really quick at a very young age, I asked questions to know what or how their marriage fall apart and finally, I gathered all the pieces together. Like a jigsaw puzzle.


And I enjoyed doing that.


If I ever asked WHY they ever decided to file for a divorce, my mommy will always say “We were not meant to be together for a long time”


after long lines of curses and swears to my dad, 
of course. -,-


So? How does living FATHERLESS affected my life?


An obvious affects on me that I always notice is that it scares the hell out of me to meet someone’s dad. It’s always awkward to talk to male adults. My mom have a lot of friends, and maybe 70% of them are female. And that’s why I get along with girls so much. Because I was raised by my mom and aunts.


I learnt to talk with girls and to actually think like one. Well, I’ve always got the girls’ perspective.

And I would not say I’m girly, I would say I’m more touched to my feminine side. Or so everyone told me. -_-


SOMETIMES I feel like my life were inadequate. Like there’s a hole in my heart that’s never filled. Maybe it’s “father’s” love or whatever bullshit I think it is, but truly, something is missing. I’m giving  credit  to my mother 99% of my life, though, because she’s always been there in my life.


When I needed her. When I need someone to talk to.


And I know she have been trying so hard, working like dog, just to make sure My brother and I have the best things in life.


The best clothes. The best shoes. The best gadjets. The best food. The best lives.


And because of that I’m very grateful to be blessed with such mother. A strong, independent, will kick-you-in-the-ass-if-you-mess-with-her-or-her-kids woman.


Even so, she could not provide things like man-talk or you know, things we talk with our dad. But I think if my dad is around, I wouldn’t talk about manly stuff either. -_- so, it’s a no-one-benefit situation.


Once, I literally forced myself o cry because I don’t have a father. Because I thought my father never loved me. I know.. I mentioned above that I don’t care. And I did. But when I was 16 and was waiting for my mom to pick Elvin and I from hostel, I noticed a lot of my friends have their dad and mother picking them up.


By then, I thought “What it’s like to have a dad?”


and then I tried to create a melodramatic moment in my big head. Trying to imagine that I was a kid that never had a dad. (well, technically I am) and yes, I did cried. And then I thought, hey, I’ve been living 16 years without dad (technically), why the hell am I crying now? This is so not right!


And since that, I was determined that I will never want to see my dad. For the first time in my life, I actually tell myself to hate my dad. And I did. I hated him. I know I sound like a pissed off son and yes. I was. I actually prevailed in not meeting him for a year!


Well, he rarely called, that’s for starters.

But when he did called or show up at the school to meet me. I made up excuses. I prevailed 2 times actually. The third one can’t be helped because my dad were literally begged to see me. Well, he didn’t “begged” but you know.. let’s spice up the story a little.


The first attempt was not a big challenge. I was in my room and I did not know that he was waiting. =.= (Even if I did know, I’m sure I would not come anyway)


The second attempt is even easy. I was not there. And that was it. Easy.


Well the third time, he actually saw me. And asked one of my friend to call me. I rejected, of course, I told my friend to tell him I am absent. Not there. I was adamant not to see him. Not in a million years, I would probably swear.


But then I did. I need his blessings in life after all. After my friends persuaded me and after a long war inside myself and conscience, of course.

 And I’m glad I did. Thank you Allah.


Maybe the biggest affect I guess is how I view on love life and ‘True Love’ dog-ass bullshit. I never lived with a dad, and I don’t know how one supposed to be a father. How will he “lead the family” and all of that fatherly crap. I never lived long enough with a married couple with kids. My grandparents, even though I lived with them, will always be an exception because they were always there while I’m growing up.


What my point really saying is.. that I‘m afraid IF I may end up divorced like my parents did. Frankly, living with one parent is FUN. I would never dream living my childhood any other way. Even though I know it’s hard on my mom, but living fatherless have also made its toll on my brother and I. We bonded so strong, as if we were twins.


But now, I wish there is a man in my mother’s life. Someone who can take care of her, love her and complement her life. I’m afraid if I’m not around, if Elvin is not around, that she may need someone there to talk to, to have a shoulder to cry on, to have someone to hug and comfort her. And I wish my mom would marry someone.


Then, why is she still not married until this day?


Because she thought of us. My brother and I.


“If I’m going to marry a guys, he is going to marry all of us..”


“I can find and change man anytime I want, but I can’t replace both of you”


“I’m always scared that both of you would wake up one day and feel empty, living without your dad”


“Whoever and how bad he is, He is still your dad. Love and respect him.”

-My Mother-


and I guess, because of that she’s still not married until this day. Or the Right Man is not here yet.


One thing I have to be clear is that. I don’t hate my father. At least not anymore. I just pity him though. He missed the one of best years of his life. My childhood. Elvin’s childhood. And I don’t know if I ever will love him to the extend of a “deeper connection”.

Maybe not. Ever. I’m 19 now. 19 years of my-father-was-not-there time. And yes, I’m still a bit pissed off, and I don’t care about it anymore.

As I said, it’s his lost.


And I still, deep in my heart, love him.



(unless they are really, really a donkey-ass)

Thank you Allah for this 4 blessings in my life :

  1. Ismuna Binti Mustapa (World’s Best Mother)
  2. Elvin Adham (World’s Best Brother)
  3. Daniel Azwan (Your Awesome Servant) 🙂
  4. Priceless (My iPhone) XD


yours truly, 

Daniel Azwan


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Me and PMS

Me and PMS

Assalamualaikum and hey yo fellow readers! (and my special love to all of my Followers!)

yeah. I know. Where have I been missing these days? I mean, for almost 4 months I guess?


Well, I’m one of The Most Busiest Person Alive. Trust me. Check it on the Guiness’ Book of Records. I’m dubbed as one. I’m busy with Studying, Sleeping, Playing Games, Chatting, Facebooking, Stalking other People’s Twitter and Facebook, Sleeping (Yes, I do that A lot nowadays), stressing out.. well, just like my normal life lahh.

Yes! One more thing, do you know that Guys have PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) just like females as well? You know, it’s the time of the month where the girls actually become The Incredible Hulk or Crybabies?


Girls during PMS



Yeah, I’ve been  experiencing that A lot lately. Like seriously, A LOT.

I can be like…

“Hey! Let’s go for a walk!” *Very cheerful* (*^_^*)

“I’m sad! and I don’t frickin‘ know WHY!!!! 😥 ” *The VERY NEXT MINUTE

and after months of experiencing this, with all the stressful status on Facebook, the Vulgar tweets.. I finally come to a conclusion!

Guys have PMS after all. -_- 


and it's not the most fun thing to deal with either.

So, A LOT of things have been running in my head nowadays.


What I should be in the future?

What kind of Life I want?

Should I take Law or Linguistics or Science?

Why is he so frickin’ ANNOYING? *Yes, you know I’m talking to you..


Why is “That Person” so freaking Cute?? :3


How can I increase my cuteness? :3

I sometimes feel wanna cry when I hear a sad song 😥

Why is chemistry and physics like hannjjinngg?? *sorry for the vulgars, people

I feel I’m CRAZY nowadays.

Yeah. I’m PMSING

yeah.. A LOT. Well, it’s what most people think, I guess. 

prepare to meet satan

I know I mentioned that I want to be neurosurgeon before.. But, deep inside my heart told me that it’s not my calling. Not “My Thing” you could say.

So I guess, now I’m searching!

Law- because I don’t practically love THE LAW but I like debates, I like thinking analytically, logically and well, it’s The Law, what more                 can I say?

Linguistics- I have always loved learning Language and I notice that I can catch up very quickly when it comes to learning a                                            Language. Well, not like THAT QUICK but you know. It’s more natural than I have to bash my brain learning science and                              Math.

Science-      I loved science and I love learning them, but… you know.. I’m at the edge of it. I want to take it.. BUT…

So that’s probably my biggest, fattest, most fearful DILEMMA these days. I’m afraid that I would end up with a course that I’m not so passionate about, It’s not that I’m being PICKY but it’s MY LIFE. MY FUTURE. I WANT TO END UP DOING SOMETHING THAT I ENJOY. And not something that I can’t give all MY HEARTS INTO IT. Rightttt???

Anyway, it’s been centuries since I last updated. So, I’m sorry to keep all of you waiting.. *I know.. Nobody even notice I was gone =_=”

I’ll make sure that I update more this time !




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Assalamualaikum and Hello only Awesome-blog readers!

Setelah sekian lama idea kering daripada otak -_-” saya pun dah ada idea nak post apa.. By the way, this article is mainly credited to: Farhan Nazaie < One of my high school friend. Nak cerita pasal

“How To Sound Like Sabahan”

So firstly…

SABAHAN SAYS.. ‪#‎SabahanSays‬ “Anu” when they have no idea to explain the things.

contoh ayat? contoh macam ni :

“anu ba, yang selalu kita guna untuk potong rumput, apa nama tu ah?” kat sini, “anu” tu tak de kaitan ngan organ manusia or anything yg lucah okayy!

#SabahanSays NDA n NGGA is different. People always mistaken us as Indonesian.

true story

#SabahanSays In a typical restaurant scene in Sabah, you’re a ‘boss’, the waiter’s a ‘boss’, the cashier’s a ‘boss’. Everyone is the bossHaha I don’t know how to explain this. But this is totally true. Sabahan akan panggil orang lain, siapa-siapa sahaja as “boss”. so kat sabah, semua orang boleh jadi boss.hahahcontoh ayat

si boss ba tu yang guna periuk tu tadi

Mintak satu lagi boss..” >When the waiter is the boss

#SabahanSays lari ba when they ask someone to move/ when someone’s blocking their view. Totally true. this one lebih kurang macam “excuse me, can u please move a bit?” or “boleh tepi siket tak?” atau we also say things like “Sesar dulu pegi tepi..” but most usually we say “sar dulu…”

#SabahanSays Whenever you abuse the slang term ‘bah’, every Sabahan dies a little inside. actually its kinda funny dengar non sabahan cuba guna perkataan “bah”..ahaha..sounds cute

#SabahanSays “miring” instead of condong.haha # UniqueMuch .It’s actually the term yg kitorang guna at Sabah! or for someone who’s gile sket otak dia pon boleh cakap macam ni :

“Miring jugak otak kau nihh..”

For benda yang condong: “Ah.. begitu.. kasi miring lagi tu gambar.. ahh.. ngam ngam!”

Man adjusting picture

#SabahanSays “Nduu baa” which has equal meaning as “Awlololoo” get it? Get it? kite biase gune “alolo.kesianye demam”….kalau version sabahan “anduuuu baaa….sian dia demam..” easy yooo!

#SabahanSays “Bida” as ugly. Pronunciation not Bee-DA.. it’s Bee-dak

#SabahanSays di mana rumah kau ? di sana tuuuuuuuuuu .makin banyak “U” makin jauh la rumah dia hahahahahah.get it? or if you say Saaaanaaaaa….. semakin panjang, semakin jauh.. hahaha..


#SabahanSays jangan kau kacau tu anjing,kana bubut kau nanti faham tak ayat ni? “bubut” means “kejar .

#SabahanSays Apa kau rasa? Rasa oren.. ni bile kite nak cakap kat orang tu “padan muke ko..” hahah…dalam version sabah leh guna ayat ni “apa kau rasa? rasa oren kan??”

#SabahanSays palis palis hahah..meaning that “minta dijauhkan…”. bile kite dengar something yang tak baik, contoh kite dengaranak jiran sebelah accident kena langgar lorry..” so untuk menyatakan yang kita harap benda tu tak berlaku kat kite, kite akan cakap “palis paliss

#SabahanSays bole bah kalo kau! I like sabahni ramai yg tahu kan…

Buli Bah kalau kau

#SabahanSays – “KUI” means “KUIH”.. pronounced “Kuik”. like kita cakap “nasi“.. haa.. bunyi hujung tu macam tulahhh #SabahanSays you say ‘milo ais’ we say ‘milo ping’ yep….but terengganu pun gune ping kan?

#SabahanSays other then buduh, we will say palui or sowt or talingungbuduh means bodoh la.. But palui are generally softer than the actual bodoh la..

“Paluii jugak gaya kau ni..”

Cuba try paham gambar bawah ni ahhh..


Tapuk : Sembunyi

Perut dia bising maggi lol diet


Bilang : Cakap


Buyuk = x aci

sabhan troll takanan

#SabahanSays dekat Sabah ada “Musim” dia bila kami cakap something.. contoh “Ini Kalilah” are often heard time PRU hari tu.. ada banyak lagi, tapi malas nak tulis panjang2..

P/s : Antara joke paling kena feveret kalau orang tanya soalan bonus, kami menganjing dorang.

Contoh : Kita tengah tunggu bas di bandar.. Datang kawan..

Kawan : Eh.. kau tunggu bas ka??                                                                                                               Kita     : Ndaklahh.. aku tengah tunggu feri limpas nie.. XD

*Limpas : Lalu not LIPAS!! hahaha

 *I'm proud to be SABAHAN* you?? Land below the wind. :)



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Why The Eff I like Vulgar words now??

Why The Eff I like Vulgar words now??

Hell-o you Awesome yet Exclusive Vulgar Blog readers!!

Yes, as the title claims.. Currently I use a lot of curse words.. EVERYTHING that’s vulgar!

Yeah, that’s not the greatest Good news, it’s actually very very bad news. A shockingly fucked up twist in my life. Oops.. there’s the first one. *Sorry

Yeah… so I think I’ve always wanted to say the effinf words, but , you know the people that surround me..

Just say one curse word, probably you’ll be the center of attention as if you own a Unicorn -_- * I wish I have one, though


Well.. the first damn reason is maybe because I’m too stressed out by my best friend called life!

Yep. This effing damn life. Everything right now seemed like not right. My relationships, grades, phone, EVERY effing thing!

I know I sound like an effing brat who’s mad about his imperfect life, but still, I’m too stressed out.

“My grades stink more than skunks. How can I be a doctor?” Fuck that. I don’t wanna be a doctor. Not now.

I also think that maybe it’s because I watched too many stand-up comedies. Don’t get me wrong, I love Stand-ups. But probably because their choice of words which I can say, not so conservative. But it’s funny. I guess that’s the point. I think it’s funny and I used them to say funny things. for instance…

“Whatever Biatch..”

“What an Effing gayboy!!”

^^ If said in the perfect situation and combined with my obnoxious eye contact, it would be seriously funny.

And probably I was and still searching what I want to do with my life, figuring out who I am and just want to decide who the Eff I wanna be when I grow up.

This obnoxious and unforgivable behavior are certainly can’t be excused, but when something triggers it, like when a bitchy guy bitching to me and try to make a fight or shitting about his shitty life, well, get ready to succumb with my bazooka of vulgar words.

My friends *I think* thought that I’m this innocent and the kind of guy who don’t speak with such language. Well, tadaaa guys! I do.

Shocked right?? Me too…

I don’t actually used to it. As a matter of fact. I kind of getting rid of it now. It doesn’t fit with my personality which is kind of bubbly and cute.. hahaha

Well.. in my next post I’ll let you know how deep the pits in my heart. I know no one will be waiting,.. but it’s fun to just write the damn statement.

What do you guys think of Vulgar words?? Lemme know!!


Posted by on December 28, 2013 in All my life!, Personally saying..


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Perkara Aku nak bagitau ngan Junior2 Aku

Hari Sukan Terakhir di SMKAKK

Hari Sukan Terakhir di SMKAKK

*Bahasa yang digunakan adalah Bahasa Rojak Ayam dan maybe ada terserlah kesabahan di sini. Jangan komplen, baca syak -_- *

Assalamualaikum kepada Junior2 yang membaca post ni (Trip adala kan junior yang baca ni post) and kepada pembaca-pembaca yang setia menunggu *trip ada pembaca setia*

Yaaa.. I know~~ “Punyalah lama kau ndak post apa2 Daniel!!!!”. Well, I’ve been very busy. Dengan assignment, dengan kawan, nak keluar shopping, game Naruto yang best nie *masih main lagi* and well, basically enjoying my precious life la.. hahaha

The cover of the first volume for season 5 rel...

The cover of the first volume for season 5 released by Studio Pierrot. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ok, so the things I would wanna say to my dearest Juniors. I know for the bekas SPM 2013 or should I say “Alumni SMKAKK”, amacam??? Best kan jadi “Bekas Pelajar SMKAKK”?? hahaha!!

Faham perasaan tu. ndak boleh dinafikan la perasaan tu time paper last tu berakhir.. So sekarang?? mau buat apala???

PLKN??? Kerja?? Hang out dengan kawan?? Or di rumah makan dan tidur menggemukkan diri??

Ya.. semua Aku buat dulu. 🙂 So memang Aku lebih boolaattss dari before la. So, nanti jangan bila jumpa, “Wow! Makin sihat kau sekarang!!” -_- malas suda Aku mau jawab johnnnn..

Apapun kamu buat sekarang, yang penting enjoy, banyakkan berdoa, and cakap dengan diri kamu “Aku sudah buat yang terbaik. Let Allah do the rest..”

Ok?? sudahla. Jangan stress2 lagi. Bikin penat syak tuh.

Kepada bakal SPM tahun 2014 macam adik Aku Si Bibin tu, Ganbatte Kudosaiii!! Kamu bulih tu..

YaaaaaaAku faham..

Stressssss gilakkkkkk!!”

“Macam mau gilak sudah Aku ni bossss!!”

Mau give up la…”

Ndak lama masuk la Aku Hospital Mesra ni..”

YeppSemua Aku ada cakap.

Just one thing Aku can give advice.

Tak payah nak stress sangat. I know I’m in no position to say this to you guys, but stress would and will drive your head crazy. Rilek..

Bayangkan beginila ok.. kamu nak pergi perang, so kamu kena concentrate stamina kamuskill kamu and semua2 la..

kalau stress.. NOTHING, trust me, NOTHING good come out of it. Oh ada satu!! Kepala kamu butak gundul la.. ahhaha

Bukan maksud Aku JANGAN STRESS langsung!! but kawal benda tu. Kalau ndak pandai kawal, keluar nanti chakra Kyubi macam Naruto. So pandai2lah ahh <<< Aku pun ndak paham apa Aku tulis nie… -_-

and.. ENJOY la your last moment di sana. You wanna know what I said to myself the very first second I start my year as budak Form 5??

“I want to cherish my last moment here…”

And I did. I never had a single regret leaving the school, knowing I had done my best there.

Study bagus2, buat kerja rumah kita yang sikit tu cepat2. Sekolah kita kan memang sikit kerja rumah.. kasi siap la ahh.. hahaha

Hormat Guru

Konsisten Doa

Enjoy Learning, bukan Stress Study!

Just be cute la in general!! -_-“<< Ini khas kepada yang memang dikurniakan kekiutan la.. cth : Me!! 

Ok semua perkara di atas tu kamu fikirla macam mana mau buat. Semua orang ada cara berbeza. Ada yang suka stay up, ada yang jenis fokus gilak dalam kelas, ada yang suka study group, buat jak apa yang kamu rasa sesuai dengan kamu.


“Dia tu budak kelas pandai, Aku ni budak Kelas Berudu..” No such thing! Sepa pikir dia dibezakan daripada kedudukan kelas, memang kesian tu anak jonnn..<< Ganas jugak ayat ni.. *kompom teda yang baca ni boss..
Ahhh.. last!! Baik2 sama Kawan
Bina Ukhuwwah kamu la bagus2 sekarang.. tedala mau bergeng-geng minyak cap kapak la, geng katak la, geng segala geng lahhh..
Nanti time abis skola.. semua geng2 tu bikin malu syakk.. 
Untuk junior form 1 sampai form 4.
FORM 1 : Sudahla jadi budak2 ahh.. kena touch sikit, belum touch pun.. suda pegi report. Aiyyyaa.. susah la ini macam.. -_- Kadang2 senior btul2 mau ajar tu.. KADANG2 La.. hahaha
FORM 2 : Ahhh.. mau naik kepala la ni kan.. JANGAN. Jadi budak yang matang, respect Senior, Kawan and.. jadi budak form 2 yang normal la.. Jangan mau buli2 budak form 1 pulakk -_-
FORM 3 : Aku ndak tau la apa kamu ambik tu, PMR ka apa2 yg lain ka.. yang penting kamu belajar bagus2. Aku sempat bah kan sama batch kamu?? bahhh.. bagus2 ahh. Jangan kasi malu Senior2 lepas..
FORM 4 : Ini batch yang.. ntah la.. yang penting ada si Ustaz Harundin bah kan batch kamu nie?? ntah la. *Trip sudah meninggalkan SMKAKK 10 tahun la kan.. hahaha.. Jangan kasi malu batch PGSTA 0812 kami ahhhh.. kamu tu bakal pejuang SMKAKK akan datang.
So, kepada semua Junior2 yang Aku sayang, ada banyak benda di dunia luar ni yang seriously interesting dan menakutkan. Aku pun Takut. Jaga Agama tu, sebab di luar, JANGAN HARAP ada orang mau kasi ingat. Ada, tapi ndak ramai. Kepada ada yang terasa dengan Aku sepanjang Aku jadi Senior yang comel dan hebat dulu tu, mintak maaf dari hujung jaki sampai kuku kaki yang baru jak Aku potong rapi ni.. hahaha << Lawak ndak menjadi -_-
P/s : Kalau di luar nanti, tegur Aku ah.. Sebab Aku memang buat2 ndak kenal jak sama kamu tu.. serius. Not Joking 🙂 Sorila beb.. ahhaha
Yepp.. pilihan selain best memang teda disediakan.. hahhha

 Teeheee~~!! kalau ndak lawak tu, buat2 lawak syakk


Posted by on December 27, 2013 in Awesome!!, My Studies, Personally saying..


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Why I don’t watch local films..


Hello blog-reading people…

As the title claims, yes, I’m not exactly the BIGGEST FAN of local television shows. I do watch SOME and rarely though, but this is not because I’m not supporting the local film industries (yeah this includes films),it’s just I don’t really like the movie in general, the story line, the boring-script-reading act


ors/actress, the clichés…


yeah basically everything.



And some hateful comments appear ;
“You are a DISGRACE! How dare you say such things?!”

Well, ain’t that the truth? Come on, don’t tell me that I’m the only one here with this in my head. I don’t really get it with Malaysian people, especially the Muslim people. The actors/actresses are mainly Muslims. Majoritily. And in the movies they act, well, that is not what reflected upon them. With the exposed “Aurat” or the part that supposedly covered like the hair, etc.. (For female)


And don’t get me started on the violated boundaries between men and women. They are frickin’ tonnes of it. Yeah, this may sound like “That’s fricking NORMAL”
But here, SOME people just didn’t like it. I mean, this is an Islamic country (Well, based on what I learnt at school). Don’t tell me about being “extremist” or “super-duper religious” bullshit. This is just how things run here. It’s NOT supposed to be like this here. And most of the shows,,, arghh!! Just pointless. Literally pointless. Nothing really to learn.


Don’t get me wrong. I do watch some of the local shows too. Shows like Tanah Kubur, Manjalara. Kisah Benar and a lot more years, they are my favorite. Funny, Informative, just simply great. The actors/actresses not all of them are weaklings. -_- (Is that even a word?) But the new, untrained, boring, script-reading horse poop.







Yeah, I’m not  the Grammy-winning actor or anything to judge, but seriously… people do know that you can act or can’t.




Now is the best part. I like international shows. I like comedy, Sitcoms! (I love them the most), well anything that consist of not-script-reading horse poops and great script.
Yes, they are not really being very discreet about SEX and adult stuff.. But that is how things work there. Not in my country (well, not suppose to)


I really like SITCOMS. Because I like laughing. 😀


how i met your mother




The nanny


From That’s So Raven, ICarly, How I Met Your Mother, The Nanny, Friends, True Jackson VP, Wizards of The Waverly Place well, maybe almost all sitcoms within this era I guess.


I love watching Kyle XY as well! (Gosh, when’s the next season?!)


I like the Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, Merlin and a lot more. It probably would take days for me to list them all. LOL


What I like from watching them is well, it’s probably the best way for me to improve my English since My English suck like hell. And I totally get the jokes, the story and yeah I just love their acts.


Movies? Don’t ask me all the locals, I really don’t watch any of them.


Kyle xy

One of my all time favourite


But Favorite Movies of all time for me probably would say “The Monster-In-Law, “The Hot Fuzz”,The Benchwarmers”, “Twilight” (I read the novels, so yeah), “Hunger Games” and a lot more………. -__-


And I’m learning Chinese nowadays, so I started to watch Chinese movies as well..


The bottom line is, it’s not like I hate local films or that I don’t like the local artists, but I think we really need to improvise, but don’t forget to remain authentic!


One thing I hate about “international films” are.. Believe it or not, they can influence badly on us. Really. And once again, don’t give that “Oh, it’s really up with the person themselves, sweetheart” dogshit because it is true. Think what it is.


Sorry for the rude/harsh words  and my suckish English :p




Posted by on November 17, 2013 in Personally saying.., What the @#$%??!


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

” I’m a Barbie Girl, in A Barbie World…”-not just dolls anymore…

” I’m a Barbie Girl, in A Barbie World…”-not just dolls anymore…

BEHOLD.. The real-life Barbie, Valerie Lukyanova

BEHOLD.. The real-life Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova

In this millenium world which is surrounded with fancy

technologies and discoveries how to further use of the

creation, Human being nowadays have discovered how

to abuse a technology which is originally used for

injuries and accidents wounds.. But, when this

happened, you know there’s something behind this


However, Valeria Lukyanova, this 22 year old Russian model claims that her doll-like appearance is natural, with a little touch of make up.


Her teeny waist, disproportionately large and wide breasts and icy blue eyes really define the real-life Barbie..And do you know what she claimed??

She claims that she’s the real natural deal… yeah right, NATURAL…

I don’t know whether her looks are simply a photoshopped process or she underwent a massive extent of plastic surgery or maybe also she is really what claims…

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world..

I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world..

I am the real natural deal... REALLY??

“I am the real natural deal… ” REALLY??

Don’t get me wrong about me HATING this model, but, SERIOUSLY, I personally think that by her looks of a perfect doll, really eradicate the message of “Nobody’s PERFECT”

An American Education professor, Devine Levine, stated that the flaunted image she put on, simply epitomizes and exemplifies today’s society issue, namely, WOMEN’S OBJECTIFICATION AND SEXUALIZATION…

While Lukyanova shows the extreme example of the society’s expectations of perfection, Levine said that this can really influence the society’s mind-setting that women MUST look like this…

* This is a copy from one of the blog I read about Lukyanova’s issue..*

“Barbie has always been controversial and really changed the discussion on how girls play,” said Levin, author of the book, “So Sexy So Soon: The Next Sexualized Childhood and How Parents Can Protect Their Kids.” ”When Barbie came around, play suddenly became about dressing up and looking right and it eventually played a role in how women wanted to look in real life.”

“This just feeds into our media screen culture, where being involved with real things are becoming more and more removed for children,” Levin said. “Even if she’s totally photoshopped, the fact that her body is being changed to one that no one actually can attain epitomizes what is happening in our society.”



I don’t blame this model about her looks, don’t misjudge me, but, women these

days must realize how beautiful and SPECIAL you are.. SOME of WOMEN have

gone crazy about getting “THE PERFECT LOOK” that they are willing to spend

thousands even billions just so that they get this RIDICULOUS Fantasies of a


Apart from this, PARENTS!! Take a really close attention here… Talk to your Kids about the sexualization and Objectification of women in the media.. Because IF NOT, your children might be exposed and influenced and  their perception and definition of what Beauty is.. might be CLOUDED!!

Remember, to be BEAUTIFUL, you simply just be you! And some of you might say…


But, remember, forcing yourself to the extreme will not make you beautiful..

Don’t you see?? How people are crazy to look SO PERFECT that they turn out to be…



                                                    *This is another copy of what I’ve read about Miss Barbie issue*

At this point, it’s common knowledge that Barbie’s body isn’t the most realistic. But what would it actually look like if the famous Mattel doll was a real woman? That’s what set out to find out.

see any resemblance?

see any resemblance?

 The search engine for locating mental health treatment

centers put together an infographic using data from the

1996 study “Ken and Barbie At Life Size,” which was

originally published in the academic journal Sex Roles. The

graphic compares the proportions of a Barbie’s body to the

body of the average American woman as well as the

average model and the average anorexic woman.

                                ” But I want to look BEAUTIFUL!!”, ” I want to look LIKE BARBIE!!!”

We wanna look like dolls??

We wanna look like dolls??


Anime-like appearances


Big-sized Barbie Doll?

Our future generation's trend?

Our future generation’s trend?

The Barbies BFF

The Barbies BFF

I know…. I guess some of you might say….

I look Ugly.....

I look Ugly… to them..

Trust me, beauty is not how much make up you put on or how many surgeries you went through, it’s about accepting who you are and looking your own beauty through your own eyes..

Everyone has beauty, but not EVERYONE sees it” -Confucius-

You can’t spell ‘BEAUTIFUL’ without ‘BE YOU’


Even MONALISA knows better…..

This is very important to bear in mind… it doesn’t count age nor race.. problem of having a self-confidence in oneself’s image is really crucial and very much need of attention..


Before and after make up

So….. MAYBE she look as natural as

she claims right?? WHATEVER, I don’t

really care whether she’s natural or

fake, but, to all the people out there,

just REMEMBER, that it’s never BAD,


remind ourselves just how unrealistic and ridiculous the body of dolls some of us (Girls especially) used to play with are…

      * The no Make-up Valeria Lukyanova *

valeria-lukyanova-eski-hali Valeria_Lukyanova_7_2901

She still look preety without her make up I have to say, it’s just that her body proportions.. it’s so… not right.. almost anorexic.. Look up my Uncle Google.. look up her pictures… you’ll see..


                        Ok.. even my cat knows this is not healthy…


Even Barbie knows her imperfection…


“I’m A Barbie Girl, in A Barbie World…”











SEE YOU GUYS IN THE NEXT POST!! what should I write about next??


Posted by on April 23, 2013 in HaRsH ReALitY!, Personally saying..



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